In Spanish, if we want to express that something/a situation is surprising and abnormal, we can use the following structure:

Ni que + subjuntivo

For example:

Javier quiere que le preste 1000 euros, ni que estuviera loca.Javier wants me to lend him 1000 euros, he must think I am mad.

¡Quítate ese maquillaje! Ni que tuvieras 16 años.Rub of that make-up! It is not like you're 16.

No sé qué ves en ese chico. Ni que fuera Brad Pitt.I don't know what you see in that guy. He's not exactly Brad Pitt.

Pero ¿cuántas maletas llevas? Ni que viajases a Alemania.But how many suitcases are you taking? Do you think you are going to Germany?

The speaker is using ni que here as a form of rejection, treating someone's attitude or actions as somehow abnormal.

It is very commonly used with El Imperfecto Subjuntivo as shown in the examples above, but other tenses may also be used:

No te alejes tanto. Ni que vaya a morderte.Don't go so far away. It is not like I am going to bite you.

No regañes más al niño; ni que hubiera robado un banco...Don't scold the boy any more; it is not like he's robbed a bank...

For a similar expression see Using "como si" + El Imperfecto de Subjuntivo for an ironic reproach

See also:

 

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Examples and resources

¡Quítate ese maquillaje! Ni que tuvieras 16 años.Rub of that make-up! It is not like you're 16.
Pero ¿cuántas maletas llevas? Ni que viajases a Alemania.But how many suitcases are you taking? Do you think you are going to Germany?
No te alejes tanto. Ni que vaya a morderte.Don't go so far away. It is not like I am going to bite you.
No regañes más al niño; ni que hubiera robado un banco...Don't scold the boy any more; it is not like he's robbed a bank...
Javier quiere que le preste 1000 euros, ni que estuviera loca.Javier wants me to lend him 1000 euros, he must think I am mad.
No sé qué ves en ese chico. Ni que fuera Brad Pitt.I don't know what you see in that guy. He's not exactly Brad Pitt.
Let me take a look at that...